


I can't Love like You, 'cause I'm over, isn't?

by Kyle0beez



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety Disorder, Autistic Character, Domestic Fluff, Environmentalism, Filming, Fluff, Friendship, IRL Fic, M/M, Neurodiversity, Platonic Relationships, Song: Love Like You, Songfic, Steven Universe References, Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26342095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kyle0beez/pseuds/Kyle0beez
Summary: Skeppy sees his relationship with his best friend as Love like you. He hates Steven Universe.
Relationships: Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch, Zak Ahmed/Darryl Noveschosch
Comments: 2
Kudos: 121





	I can't Love like You, 'cause I'm over, isn't?

**S** keppy turned on the camera. A stupid little black package he used to carry. The recorded screen showed that the footage was sizzling and probably the sound was crap. He was not the kind of careful person, however, he liked the somewhat sloppy way his footage carried.

He adjusted his focus, showing his feet shod in dirty white sand sneakers. A few stones along the way and clear lighting that cast a shadow between her seated legs that swayed suddenly.

The worn wooden bench, and how stupid it looked to be in jeans on the beach — given the scenery.

He raised the camera with his usual steady hands, the zoom in the sun was immediate, so he slowly regressed until it became a whole image. The sun was setting behind the sea. A calm water surrounded by slimy stones and, in reality, there was green grass growing in the middle of the sand. So it was probably not a real beach.

However, the sky was a beautiful pink orange. Lights coming from everywhere. The clouds dissipated in just a layer of mist over the sun that had its last glow in the day. Stars were more in sight. The moon should be low in opacity blooming on the other side. However, according to Skeppy, this was not the most beautiful sight.

In reality, even if the camera full of glitches of images and sounds that were muffled by it being unable to load, it was probably the perfect footage to capture the love that came from a single person sitting on the sand, touching some blooming flowers and her eyes were genuinely shining when she found an empty shell. Everything genuine, the affection he carried.

I had no real reason to start filming, honestly, it was a poorly thought out tactic to cover up your anxiety. Filming not to forget, not to lose. Skeppy was not a person who used to let go, he clings to moments and doesn't want to let them go. Including people. He is not a good individual to enjoy what life gives, Skeppy does not accept to lose. It was always scary, so filming practice was always welcome.

Although filming on his cell phone was definitely less awkward, he clung to his broken camera, which watched the world in a unique way. This was unique, he would not like to lose. The calm and detachment that Darryl had. Hair flying with the breeze, grimaces when sand entered his mouth, or just the exaggerated attention he paid to just one thing. The way he seemed to love every bit of everything.

He couldn't resist the urge to approach that expression. His arms were covered in a sweatshirt because Darryl hated the cold — and, really, winter on a hot day was still a terrible state to be on the beach, especially in the late afternoon — he crossed his legs as he always did. For some reason, he was barefoot, curling his toes in the fine, cold sand. It didn't make any sense, but Darryl always hated to be wearing shoes, even if it meant his feet would be in a negative state of temperature.

His eyes were closed and half closed, he supported his back in his own arms. He would complain of pain later. In full view, from his flushed face and half-open mouth, curved in a smile, it looked like Bad was dozing while enjoying the calming sounds of waves and the colorful heat of the sun. A sound that would be unbearable on video, Skeppy was already preparing. But it would be worth seeing Darryl like that again, even if it made it a growing tease, he loved it. He learned to love and would not trade for anything.

He doesn't remember when Badboyhalo became Darryl so genuinely in his thoughts. Things have changed a lot in a year. When he started to really know his best friend, starting to learn every bit of him in such a lucid but natural way. It just worked in perfect dynamics in a right fit. And time passed by. Even when they sacrificed something for a more stable relationship, they never lost their essence. Darryl has never ceased to be that loving, caring and somewhat alien person in general. Skeppy never failed to realize how bad he was.

Skeppy spent enough time obligatorily sitting on the living room sofa while Darryl slipped innocently to sit on the dark blue carpet that they never changed — and also have no idea where it came from — while watching Steven Universe to know that he hated the cartoon.

It wasn't bad, despite saying that to make Bad completely angry with him. The cartoon just tapped into feelings he wouldn't want to touch. Feelings that he left attached only to the camera's memory card.

He got used to it, it was routine to watch at least one episode with Darryl to make him happy. And the songs started to be part of their lives. Now, when he started to analyze, and the lyrics of the song got stuck in the back of his brain that took their sleep away, he may have the conclusion that Love like you was definitely the one that came closest to explaining this closeness between them in a year living together. And every time the slow tune started playing around the apartment while they took the trouble to clean up at least a little bit, Skeppy didn't have the strength to get away from it.

He could ask himself what would have changed in the meantime, however, the "when" was not important, he knew the " _why_ ". That was when the distance was almost unbearable. Skeppy started to stop pretending he wasn't seeing and stopped to be part of that deep love that Darryl had. How good he was, and Skeppy wouldn't be half that if he tried — and he tried.

Skeppy was not easy to deal with, somewhat connected to his growing anxiety and how fragile he was. He was impulsive, he hated change, he hated dealing with consequences and, above all, he had a hard time loving things. Even though it was his fault for being a bad person, he couldn't control it. In contrast, there was Darryl, who cared for and embraced time, the world as he was, despite his mistakes and successes. Darryl adored him.

It was never a secret that Darryl loved him, nor was it ever that he loved his best friend back. But he got attached, Skeppy got attached to the details and fell in love with them. Skeppy fell in love with everything that his best friend was. And when he focused on the lines, they bouncing off his brain, he could just accept that he would never love himself the way he loved him. That was all.

And now, when he was pointing a camera at the passing time, rising from his chair and looking into the lens in those closed but awake eyes, smiling at him through himself. Even between careless provocations and a liquid threat. Skeppy filmed Darryl's back going down the asphalt path of the cyclists' area and how he was walking slowly and sleepily.

The sun was no longer there, but it was still shining. Skeppy fell in love with that. He would always fall in love a little more, as long as Darryl taught him to love.

> “I always thought I might be bad  
> Now I'm sure that it's true  
> 'Cause I think you're so good  
> And I'm nothing like you
> 
> Look at you go  
> I just adore you  
> I wish that I knew  
> What makes you think I'm so special”

**Author's Note:**

> If you neurotypical knew how difficult It's to write as ADHD, you'd probably frustrated. Than I'll definitely be a psychologist and not a writer.   
> I just joined this fandom head on and I don't know how to quit, I'm not even fluent in english, half of what they say doesn't make any sense to me. Anyway, I hope you like this piece of heaven that I wrote. Honestly, I think this song suits them. I liked my own narration so I’m proud.


End file.
